New Position: Blue Jean Distresser

Officially announcing availability as a Blue Jean Distresser for the fashion market. Now Hollywood starlights can wear and feel the truly and honestly distressed jean from hard, backbreaking work. No more fake wear from machine scrubbing or acid washing. The Real Wear market is open!

I’ll even offer a line of Double Distressed starting with a pair from the thrift store. That's twice the honest wear!

They’ll be green too! These jeans will be engaged only in healthy work. Hike mountains, garden, bike, build… honest actions to establish the true and telling signs of honest work.

Special orders can be taken too. Say you want that horseback look. I’ll ride horses. Or, perhaps you’re more of a construction type, I’ll remodel my home and accent with a few paint splatters from the roller.

Be assured, the extra $200 - $900 you will be paying for that distressed look will be genuine wear. Take these above for example. They’ve held up over ten years and now I only use them as “work” clothes. I’ve planted countless gardens, hiked mountains, painted rooms, refinished furniture and many other life activities in this pair.

See! Here’s me and Petite Poe at 12,000’ on Mount Emmons in this very pair in 2004. Yup, these jeans have truly made the circuit.

Such masterpieces take about ten years to create so order now! I’m certain there are plenty of prospective Blue Jean Distressers just waiting to be called to action. Please list your name in the comments and we’ll start our list of professional Blue Jean Distressers.

Call me crazy but, I think the machine market is quite passé.

Leave your comment to become a professional Blue Jean Distresser. Only honest workers apply. Women who work family farms, I beleive you will now have a second job.

We shall be the John Henry of Blue Jean Distressers! Except we shall not die in the end! Our hard efforts will put our children through college. Just in ways we hadn't quite imagined.

Legendary Thrift

I appreciate and enjoy receiving emails from readers. They come in all contexts. This particular email landed in my in box after the former post, “A Tale of Two Rings”. It’s a similar story with a different ending, more humorous than mine.

Such serendipity makes me wonder if there is not a higher power orchestrating this giant game of thrift.

Grinny writes:

My husband and I married after dating five months. We just wanted to be married and didn't care much about ceremony. He wore a suit he already owned with a tie that I never cared for.

In fact, I thought the tie was downright ugly.

Fast-forward five years and our oldest son is attending vacation bible school. The school had a little store of donated goods where the children could pick prizes.

With the coming of Father's Day, requests were sent out to donate “manly” items the children could to give to fathers as gifts. I happily donated the mentioned tie – without a peep to hub.

Unbeknownst about the tie or it’s history, of all the choices, my son picked the infamous "wedding tie" to give to his dad on Father’s Day.

I had to come clean. This tie moved back into my husband’s closet, twelve years later. He has never worn again. Good thing hubs has a forgiving sense of humor.

Great story Grinny.

Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Golightly is Yogi Berra incarnate. Of many head-scratcher sayings, he often tells me to, “Go so you can come back”. I used to translate that to, “please run your errands now so you can come home and watch the kids”.

But I have to wonder if “Go to come back” has a more cosmic significance. Perhaps my ring and Grinny’s husband’s tie needed to go so they could come back modified in meaning to build a better story.

We can call such stories, Legendary Thrift. If you have one, do tell. I can be contacted by clicking on the Contact Section in the left column.

Now I must go so I can come back.

A tale of two rings

Mr. Golightly and I celebrate 15 years this June. It took only two dates to put us together after some talk on the phone. The first date tail-gated a conference I attended in San Diego for my job out of Boston. Yes, I fell in love after a week-long conference earning certification in disaster recovery. Ironic, no?

The second was at his home in Colorado. I figured we would discuss the possibility of me relocating to Denver but, he proposed. Two weeks later on May Day of 1995, I flew in and took up residence with Mr. Golightly in a little house in Boulder. You’d be surprised how fast one can pack up and move a life when motivated. My friends in Boston thought I was nuts. But time has proven I made the right choice. And, my close friend who introduced us is now my sister-in-law.

We’ve been through a lot in those 15 years and we’re fortunate to be frugal and fortunate to thrift. The Goodwill Store on Broadway at Archer in Denver actually settled a tiff. Really, it did.

We have matching wedding rings. The designer in Arizona calls them water rings. Brushed 18kt gold, they are cut to look like water flowing around our fingers; simple and elegant.

For our 10th anniversary Mr. Golightly bought me another ring, a mate to my wedding band. It was sterling with five 24kt gold squares. To be frank, I didn’t like the stark geometric contrast to the flow of the water ring and often didn’t wear it. Over time this grew to be a bit of a tiff between us. It sucked in unrelated annoyances and we digressed in maturity as we, ugh, discussed the wearing of this ring.

Eventually Mr. Golighty tartly asked for the ring back and I tartly obliged. I never knew what he did with it. I wasn’t about to ask. Sour grapes.

The day of our 14th anniversary, I was at Goodwill with Thriftfully Modern Mommie, spending more than I should. It’s hard shopping with Modern Mommie. She has such a great eye, she literally throws clothes at you and they’re a perfect fit and darling. After being whacked by three dresses and two skirts, I had to start dodging, begging her to stop. I’m not exaggerating. We’re terrible in the thrift store. Fortunately we’re also funny so we’ve never been bounced. Odd to run from gorgeous dresses priced at $7 but I try to avoid a total purchase that rivals the cost of department store jeans.

I always search the jewelry counter upon checking out. One finds incredible pieces at the thrift. (Some day Mr. Golightly will photograph some of our finds.)

My Snake Eyes honed right in on it, the ring I’d given up months before. Funny how it looked different in the jewelry cabinet. All the mess we’d put into that ring was no longer there. Goodwill transformed the ring into something else. I tried it on to confirm it so and purchased that ring, $10 above my Flinch Point.

I wore that ring, along with one of the smart dresses Modern Mommie chucked at me, on our anniversary dinner date. I gesticulated all through dinner and felt I was bordering on developing a new sign language until he finally noticed around dessert. He was shocked and - for a moment - speechless.

Goodwill has a fast turn around. Apparently, he’d given up the ring months before. Odd that it took so long for it to hit the floor. Odd that it should show up on our anniversary. Call it serendipitous. But, it happened and now the ring makes for a great story and brings only laughs all because it came from Goodwill.

As I put my hand in his I told him, “You dropped where I shop.”

Sturdy Black Dress

My hand-crafted, little black dress for $8.99 from Goodwill was so well made, I just learned I've been wearing it INSIDE OUT for over six months since purchase! Call me a fool but the only words I’ve received while wearing that dress were compliments.

It took Little Pie, while zipping up the back this morning, to discover this fact. Tell me folks, can you buy something of THIS quality, so nice you can't tell inside from out, for $8.99 at a mall? Don't think so.

Now get to the thrift store and find your item of exquisite quality. It’s there. I’ll race you!

Absolving Thrift Stores

The previous post, Standing Naked in a Thrift Store, discusses the crap that lands in such stores, but it also notes that thrift stores are a mirror of sorts reflecting the new market. It’s only fitting to follow up with a post touting the recent treasure I’ve found by shopping thrift.

My daughter, Petite Poe and I, are pictured in our recent double Anthropologie score from Goodwill. Each dress cost us $7.99. Petite Poe’s can be currently found on the racks at Anthropologie for $178. My velvet dress will be lovely for the holidays.

Today and yesterday found me at three stores where I purchased:

1. A beautiful 11” Le Creuset Oval Au Gratin for $2.99. It retails new for $90. My Francophile friend will love me, unless I decide to keep it.

2. An in the box, Cross Tech Pencil; chrome without the slightest scratch for $3.99. It retails new for $50 on the Cross website. Mr. Golightly needs to maintain his professional image.

3. A B Rogers silver footed ice bucket with attached lid for $3.99. It’s requiring a load of elbow grease but is polishing up nicely. I’ve been waiting for the right ice bucket for years. Now, I feel so refined with such an elegant one. I’ve yet to find one like it on the Internet.

4. Two Merino wool turtlenecks, both high-end brands for $5 each and a cashmere turtleneck for $7. I was shocked to learn that the Vince sweater sells at Barney's and Sax! (My old black turtleneck mistakenly flew into the dryer. No worries, I paid $5 and it now looks darling on Little Pie.) As Thriftfully Modern Mommie writes in A Solid Foundation, the black wool turtleneck is a fundamental piece to the classic wardrobe.

5. Five recent edition hardback books donated to my daughter’s school along with several staplers and hole punchers all for $1 a piece. As in Back to School Thrift, we learn these stores are excellent sources for classroom needs; especially as education keeps getting hit with serious budget cuts across the nation and schools turn to parents.
Off with the crappy vision and on with the Snake Eyes to find the treasure and be rewarded.

Oh, and I’m lamenting the one purchase I did not make today. It was a beautiful antique bamboo stationary rocking chair. It was beautiful! Priced at just $30 it was $25 over my Flinch Point but would have been worth it. I just don’t have room for it. Ah well, I’m certain it’s already purchased because it’s Thrift or Miss.

I almost forgot to mention these Old Navy jeans. I bought them half-off for $2.49.

What have you found that you wish to brag about?

Standing naked in a thrift store

Advance Warning: This post is a bit cheeky and heavy on the word “crap”. It's a harsh word but I could not find another. Junk came to mind, but there have been many times I found value in junk. (Junk food being the exception.) Unless it’s a nitrogen-based soil amendment, crap has no value. I’m writing about pointless retail crap that will sit in a landfill for the next 250-500 years. This post felt sluggish in writing, but Anonymous Reader, living in the self-proclaimed land of the newly-wed and nearly-dead, this post is for you.

Unknowingly, we attach too much value, monetary value, to the packaging of new products. In this case, "new" simply means never-used and is not an indicator of quality. Shoppers remain unaware they are paying extra for packaging they will trash. Rarely do I purchase a new product that comes home in a container I could reuse. Given that new is not an indicator of quality and neither is the packaging, I offer up Observance #1: New crap is often packaged heavily in crap to hide crap.

There’s been a discussion weaving through recent posts about the quality of items in thrift stores. We agree that treasure passes through thrift stores. We also agree that one must wade through a lot of crap to get to that treasure; using a backhoe even came to mind. I believe this discussion was first raised in June 2nd post The Harbingers of Decline.

Most items resting on the shelves of thrift stores have long been stripped of their original packaging. Observance #2: Thrift store items stand humble on shelves; naked with only a price sticker pasty. The packaging that once glorified and hid the item is now scuttled deep in the bowels of some landfill.

The crap that rests in thrift stores came from somewhere. I believe, it came from discount retailers hiding crap in packaging, neatly stacked on shelves, or hung on hooks with an “As seen on TV” sunburst in the container corner. Put on a pair of x-ray goggles to see past the packaging and you’ll see a lot of crap in these stores. Observance #3: Many items in new retail stores, discount retailers in particular, are indeed organized, spiffed up crap.

Observance #4: Just like thrift stores, shoppers wade through a lot of crap in discount retail chains. Thrift stores are, in many ways, a mere reflection of the new product market with a wonderful dash of estate sale goods.

In my opinion, many retail chains that dot the malls of America only sell crap. The stores that specifically target young tweens and teens particularly disturb me as they greedily rake in allowance money. Once left unattended for 10 minutes my daughter spent close to $30 in one of those stores. Upon hearing this, I crumpled to my knees with arms raised to the heavens crying, "Noooooo!" Fortune would have it that most of the items broke in the first week of possession and a lesson was learned.

Remove the packaging and possibilities come to life or maybe not. Either way, the shopper knows what they’re in for at the thrift store. Observance #5: At the thrift store, the little product's soul is looking right up into your eyes, awaiting judgment. If it's crap, at least it's honest about it.

Conclusion: We need to learn the difference between cheap and cheap crap. Thrift stores will not be free of this noxious crap until the new product market is free of it.

Perhaps crap is in the eye of the beholder. If that is the case, we have a lot of people out there with bad taste and it's creating a lot of waste.

You’ve gotta get yourself a pair of Snake Eyes!

This Snake Eyes technique is, well, its wow! No! Beyond wow! I just had an incredible day.

I’m not ashamed of Snakes Eyes. When my daughters are present, I select one of my three pairs of new Dana Buchman sunglasses that I picked up at Goodwill for $1.99 each so that I don’t embarrass my children.

I’ve dreamed of finding Limoges porcelain. I’ve found Wedgwood many times, but Limoges is the crème de la crème. I finally found my first piece of vintage L. Bernardaud & Co. Limoges at the Broadway Goodwill in Engelwood! Say it like the French, lee-mawzh. This white and gold (probably 22 karat) covered dish was $4.99. I’ve yet to find a match for it on the Internet but, be assured, I will. (I say that with Dwight Schrute certainty.)

Why was I after Limoges porcelain? During World War II, my grandfather was a very young soldier in 12^th Armored Division better known as the Hellcats. During this time, many families in Lunéville, France offered hospitality to these soldiers awaiting orders to march into Germany. Kathryn was the matriarch of the family my grandfather stayed with and they grew to be dear friends. He has since been back twice with my grandmother to reconnect. Someday, I plan to take my family to meet Kathryn’s. I know they are still living in the same house, the family has lived there for many generations than I have gray hairs. This is a journey I must take. It’s in my blood. I will bring this Limoges covered dish as a gift and bring this beautiful piece back to where it truly belongs. What else would I show up with? Corelle?

I need a moment to dab the tears with my vintage hankie. Okay, composure.

I went to the ARC on Federal and Hooker. (Yes, there’s a street in Denver named Hooker.) On went the Snake Eyes. The treasures flew off the racks and into my cart! I didn’t even need to touch them! Well, maybe I touched a few but I walked away with another like new, if not new sweater from Anthropologie for $3.99; a cashmere sweater from Sax for $4.99; and an Echo purse with price tag of $88 still dangling for $4.99. And I purchased a very rare book published in 1917, “A Treasury of War Poetry.” It was $3.99. (I know a certain bibliophile.)

While at this ARC, I found today’s tour de thrift, a ceramic decanter that looks a lot like Droopy Dog with a bandage tied round his chin, the stopper being the knot of the bandage. This lovely piece, in pristine condition, sits a top a ceramic music box and spins round to "How Dry I Am." This makes Dogs Playing Poker look like a sweet sixteen party with pink poodles sipping Shirley Temples with paper umbrellas. I’m offering this up to Bill Geist of CBS Sunday Morning in hopes he’ll come thrift with me, Snake Eyes style. I’m shameless.

I really am shameless. I ended the day playing salon for reals with my daughters, Poe and Pie, and a box of Revlon Frost & Glow. That’s right. I put on the ugly plastic cap and my daughters took turns pulling strands of hair through the plastic with the crochet needle thingy. Pie, my youngest was truly dedicated and adept to the task. She loves stuff like that. She even knits, which reminds me that I picked up a bag of at least 20 pairs of knitting needles (metal and wooden) at the Goodwill on Broadway and Archer. Anyway, my daughters actually did a nice job. But, I do miss the salon and I don’t think Snake Eyes is going to work there. But, having my daughters tend to my hair was a bonding experience; one I know they will laugh about when I’m too old to know what they’re laughing about and then I’ll do something like pee on their couch, a sort of unknowing poetic justice.

To see Snake Eye's watch this segment "Little Big Guy" from Little Big Man. Now get on over to a mirror and start practicing!

Snake eyes!

Every thrift adventure has a lesson. Most times, I can speak to it like the characters or their continued kindness. But there are times when a loss for words is present. Perhaps those words are hanging out in uncharted territory, a region my mental cartographers have yet to survey. Let’s call it the wild west of the brain.

Last weekend, we watched Little Big Man, the Forrest Gump of the wild west. Unfamiliar with the movie? I recommend it. It hit the full spectrum of emotion and got me to thinking.

Dustin Hoffman’s character Jack Crabb has a wandering life and eventually meets up with his long lost sister. Sister Caroline? She's no sissy, a sharp shooter, a live-without-a-man kind of woman. She reckons it’s about time for Jack to learn to shoot and the secret is Snake Eyes, “to hit the target before even touching the gun.” Jack's not sold but does his best to please his sister. He squints, breathes funny and hits the target first shot. Zap! Jack Crabb is instantly transformed into a genuine gunslinger with a fancy black outfit and his own gunslinger name, “The Soda Pop Kid.”

Snake eyes bit me and grew an idea. I went to the thrift store and put on snake eyes, opened my thrift sense and invited it to flow.

I swaggered up to the long sweater racks with my spurs mentally clicking with each step. Boom! I pulled out a NEW Sundance wool and angora blend sweater, my size for $4.99! I’ve been wearing that sweater for days. I’m wearing it now. My youngest daughter even slept in it one night. And, how ironic for it to be Sundance, a western company! AND, today is the first day of the Sundance Film Festival!

Shocked by such success, I high-tailed it over to the dress rack, prepared to pull before raising a finger. Bam! Out came a vintage Jaeger wool dress in pristine condition made in Great Britain, my size for $4.99. Gorgeous dress. Classic but not conservative.

This was becoming pretty cool so I pretended to ride Old Paint over to the men’s suits on the far side of the store. Ba da bing! A gorgeous Jos. A. Bank suit for my husband, no alterations required and 50% off making it $4.50.

The last time, I didn't even need to think when I yanked out an REI jacket for my daughter for $2.99. It just landed in my hands.

I’m convinced, snake eyes opened up my thrift sense.

For the record, snake eyes ain’t gonna work in a department store. See, the target needs to be in one spot so all focus is honed. Scatter sweaters or dresses and concentration tosses up it’s arms and says, “I am so outta here!”

Perhaps that’s just a bit symbolic. Dump the contents of a life into one bucket and meet it dead on with snake eyes. You actually might actually pull out the right thing before you even touch the bucket.

All this western stuff was probably spawned by the fact that the 103rd annual National Western & Stock Show is on in Denver. Cowboys are running all over this city. Just yesterday, I heard one singing about an “Itty bitty girl born to an itty bitty world” while walking up Detroit. He was a bit bow-legged and really loud. I guess one has to be loud when wrestling up herd of cows. I cannot write about this event without mentioning that my youngest daughter won a slot through Mile Hi Girl Scouts to ride in the revered Mutton Bustin’ competition in the 101st rodeo in front of 14,000 folks. Now that takes some gumption when you’re five years old! Us parents, always bragging.

To see Snake Eye's watch this segment "Little Big Guy" from Little Big Man. Now get on over to a mirror and start practicing!

Breakfast at Anthropologie

The store Anthropologie is to Shopping Golightly as Tiffany’s is to Holly Golightly.

Like Truman Capote’s Holly, I cannot afford the vast majority of Anthropologie’s merchandise but it doesn’t stop me from wandering the Cherry Creek store in Denver to rid myself of –as Holly would say- “the mean reds” and suck in opulence. I was there the other day in search of my simple luxury, scented candles. I buy them on sale. My favorite truly smelled of fresh cut grass, which is great to burn in the winter when that smell is six months off in the waiting. I find a lot of comfort in the faint glow of a candle battling the darkness, a comfort much in need with today’s troubled times.

As I was making convoluted trek to the sale section at the back of the store, a sales associate asked that rhetorical retail question, “Are you finding everything okay?” My polite, programmed response was, “Yes, thank you.” This usually throws them off my trail. That sounds rude, but when I have a question, I’ll seek out an associate. Besides, they often interrupt my thoughts when they ask that rhetorical retail question.

At that very moment, a new voice shouted in my head with Seinfeld's Elaine Benes urgency, “No, I’m not okay. Your prices! Well! They’re hurting me!” And they were. Here I stood in this beautiful store wearing one of its brand sweaters purchased for $5 at Goodwill while all the sweaters around me were well over $200. One on sale was $148! That is not okay! I kept the voice to my head and moved on hoping that the rest of the store didn’t hear it because it was painfully loud.

Why was I doing this to myself? Hurting my head with these prices? Because a little luxury from time to time helps.

In the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak forwent the purchase of the sterling sliver telephone dialer and felt satisfaction in leaving their Cracker Jack ring to be engraved by the experts at Tiffany’s. I felt satisfaction in forgoing the purchase of a $148 sweater and leaving Anthropologie with an Aunt Sadie’s Red Delicious Apple Premium Scented Candle wrapped in beautiful tissue paper. I will reuse that tissue as wrapping paper.

However frugal or resourceful we may be, we all receive added joy from a simple luxury from time to time. I think this is healthy as long as we keep it “simple” and “from time to time.” Anything thing else might be obscene.It’s like the difference of savoring one specially picked Godiva truffle versus a 20lb box.

The gentleman at the Tiffany’s counter in the movie offered a genuine word regarding prizes in Cracker Jack boxes. He said, “Gives one the feeling of solidarity, continuity with the past, that sort of thing.” I think he could have just as much been referring to thrift stores. It’s not just the savings, it’s the solidarity.

What is your simple luxury?

Please Come Out of the Closet. Now!

It happened again. Only this time, I felt a bit testy about it.

About once every two weeks, someone will unexpectedly break my personal space to whisper in my ear, “I’m a closet thrifter.” Then they do something weird like wink at or nudge me, like we’re now blood kin in some secret society or coven. I’m polite. I nod and smile back. However, I really want to make a scene and yell, “Excuse me! But will you please scream that to the world? Let everyone know! Be damn proud of what you are!”

Okay closet thrifters, I know you’re sitting by the light of your monitor reading this while everyone else is asleep. It’s time to acquire a good load of Thrift Pride.

Let’s make this very plain. Ain’t no room for shame in the thrift store. Got it? Thrifting is a sign of wits and a broader sense of local and global understanding. The thrift store is a place of product and personal redemption. There are good, sweet vibes in those stores along with an eagerness of what awaits and a gratitude for what is found. And – get this – people are genuinely nice in thrift stores. They don’t look at you and chase you down for a commissioned sale.

Being a closet thrifter is like being the intellectually gifted child who dumbs down because being smart isn’t cool. Well, smart is cool, least it is in my worldview.

I had planned to post my holiday shopping statistics after the season. But for you closet thrifter, I offer a preview. Before Thanksgiving, I mailed out thirty holiday gifts to friends and family. I mailed early to send ground rate and book rate with on time delivery. ALL gifts were thrift and the average cost per gift was $4.50. Many were books, recent best sellers and beautiful vintage editions. I cannot reveal specifics because that will overtake surprise. But, one gift in particular is bound to bring a tear to a special person’s eye because it will reunite a book with an 84-year-old’s childhood. How many new retailers offer that kind of giving for under $3? These gifts were well thought out because I did my shopping through out the year. Retailers failed to corner me and make me feel desperate during the last month of the year.

Some people wrinkle their noses at the idea of used items. Isn’t everything is a bit used? I don’t see dressing room attendants spraying disinfectant on the tight fitting $375 dress a stranger tries on no matter how posh the dressing room. Come on ladies. We’ve all seen deodorant stains on dark shirts and dresses on the rack. We’re really chumped when the only one left in our size has another woman’s mark on it. Chances are we suck it up and buy the shirt full price. So why wince at items from a thrift store? We’re not talking about the threadbare clothes of the Dickens street urchins.

Friends, if you know a closet thrifter, help them. Coax them and guide them to Thrift Pride. Since when is out spending personal income, out of control credit card debt, and bankruptcy cool? What about buying items with enormous carbon footprints that get used once? Is that cool too?

I’d say, let’s print up a million t-shirts announcing Thrift Pride but that is counter to the point. So, instead of a t-shirt, verbalize your pride everyday.

Thrift Pride to the masses!

What’s the Bait and Where’s the Switch?

Sometimes things don’t happen like you’d think. Here’s a story.

This spring, I hosted a baby shower for my dear friend, Thriftfully Modern Mommie. I don’t usually aim for perfection. I believe perfection is beyond definition and best left for Mother Nature to manage. But I tried to catch its scent and hunt it down when planning this event. I wanted my friend to weep, to feel surrounded by the love of her girlfriends before her new baby arrived.

It was a backyard brunch serving about 18 guests. I laid out a formal spread with tended centerpieces that matched my friend’s earthy nature with moss and ferns. Oops! I forgot water goblets. Two days before the shower, I drove to a nationwide retailer and bought three boxes of Luminarc large goblets. They were neither fancy nor expensive, just utilitarian.

I washed all the china and polished the silver plate flatware. To my surprise two of the Luminarc boxes contained very dirty goblets. Someone bought these glasses, used them, didn’t wash them, and then returned them. I paid full price for used merchandise. Was there a point in driving all the way back to the store to exchange them? My time is worth more, so I washed them - annoyed.

Many stores accept returned merchandise and put it back on the shelf at full price. I’m sure each store has its own policy – but haven’t we all bought goods in a re-taped box (at full price) at some point in our shopping careers? As members of the public, we’re not always informed. At least I wasn’t.

I cannot begin to count how many times I’ve bought brand new, tag dangling merchandise at thrift stores. My new hand-made Black Dog Rise mukluks are in my slide show. I paid $10 and they retail $350 online, that’s less than 3% of the retail price! I shall be buried in them because my feet are so cold, I doubt death will make a difference. I think my father and I could probably be instruments of torture with our genetic predisposition for cold feet. My husband will testify.

Today, while on my regular thrifting routine, I found a brand new Banana Republic cotton jacket that fits my oldest daughter, and it will be a holiday gift. It is darling, somewhat vintage in style. The Banana Republic price tag read $99.99 contrasted directly against the Goodwill price of $4.99 (5% its retail price). Unlike my goblets, it was used zero times.

So, let me see if I have this right. I pay full price for used goods at a major retailer. I pay used-goods price for a brand new, unused item at a thrift store. Once again, sometimes things don’t happen like you’d think.

Maybe I should not have posted this and kept it secret. Yeah, never mind. Thrift stores are junky and only sell mustard-stained t-shirts. They smell like gym shorts too.