Thrift Store Conventions: Jewelry Part 1

From fine costume necklaces,

to more more refined tastes.

From sterling,

to turquoise,

to cinnabar,

to sets,

and trends. All for under $10.

These necklaces bought at 50% for $3 each.


More to come in the next post. Jewelry is too easy to thrift it practically lands in your hands. For other ways to incorporate thrift into your life visit other Thrift Store Conventions on the Contents section in the left column - the Tabletop post was a huge hit and was picked up on other blogs all over the world.

Legendary Thrift

I appreciate and enjoy receiving emails from readers. They come in all contexts. This particular email landed in my in box after the former post, “A Tale of Two Rings”. It’s a similar story with a different ending, more humorous than mine.

Such serendipity makes me wonder if there is not a higher power orchestrating this giant game of thrift.

Grinny writes:

My husband and I married after dating five months. We just wanted to be married and didn't care much about ceremony. He wore a suit he already owned with a tie that I never cared for.

In fact, I thought the tie was downright ugly.

Fast-forward five years and our oldest son is attending vacation bible school. The school had a little store of donated goods where the children could pick prizes.

With the coming of Father's Day, requests were sent out to donate “manly” items the children could to give to fathers as gifts. I happily donated the mentioned tie – without a peep to hub.

Unbeknownst about the tie or it’s history, of all the choices, my son picked the infamous "wedding tie" to give to his dad on Father’s Day.

I had to come clean. This tie moved back into my husband’s closet, twelve years later. He has never worn again. Good thing hubs has a forgiving sense of humor.

Great story Grinny.

Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Golightly is Yogi Berra incarnate. Of many head-scratcher sayings, he often tells me to, “Go so you can come back”. I used to translate that to, “please run your errands now so you can come home and watch the kids”.

But I have to wonder if “Go to come back” has a more cosmic significance. Perhaps my ring and Grinny’s husband’s tie needed to go so they could come back modified in meaning to build a better story.

We can call such stories, Legendary Thrift. If you have one, do tell. I can be contacted by clicking on the Contact Section in the left column.

Now I must go so I can come back.

A tale of two rings

Mr. Golightly and I celebrate 15 years this June. It took only two dates to put us together after some talk on the phone. The first date tail-gated a conference I attended in San Diego for my job out of Boston. Yes, I fell in love after a week-long conference earning certification in disaster recovery. Ironic, no?

The second was at his home in Colorado. I figured we would discuss the possibility of me relocating to Denver but, he proposed. Two weeks later on May Day of 1995, I flew in and took up residence with Mr. Golightly in a little house in Boulder. You’d be surprised how fast one can pack up and move a life when motivated. My friends in Boston thought I was nuts. But time has proven I made the right choice. And, my close friend who introduced us is now my sister-in-law.

We’ve been through a lot in those 15 years and we’re fortunate to be frugal and fortunate to thrift. The Goodwill Store on Broadway at Archer in Denver actually settled a tiff. Really, it did.

We have matching wedding rings. The designer in Arizona calls them water rings. Brushed 18kt gold, they are cut to look like water flowing around our fingers; simple and elegant.

For our 10th anniversary Mr. Golightly bought me another ring, a mate to my wedding band. It was sterling with five 24kt gold squares. To be frank, I didn’t like the stark geometric contrast to the flow of the water ring and often didn’t wear it. Over time this grew to be a bit of a tiff between us. It sucked in unrelated annoyances and we digressed in maturity as we, ugh, discussed the wearing of this ring.

Eventually Mr. Golighty tartly asked for the ring back and I tartly obliged. I never knew what he did with it. I wasn’t about to ask. Sour grapes.

The day of our 14th anniversary, I was at Goodwill with Thriftfully Modern Mommie, spending more than I should. It’s hard shopping with Modern Mommie. She has such a great eye, she literally throws clothes at you and they’re a perfect fit and darling. After being whacked by three dresses and two skirts, I had to start dodging, begging her to stop. I’m not exaggerating. We’re terrible in the thrift store. Fortunately we’re also funny so we’ve never been bounced. Odd to run from gorgeous dresses priced at $7 but I try to avoid a total purchase that rivals the cost of department store jeans.

I always search the jewelry counter upon checking out. One finds incredible pieces at the thrift. (Some day Mr. Golightly will photograph some of our finds.)

My Snake Eyes honed right in on it, the ring I’d given up months before. Funny how it looked different in the jewelry cabinet. All the mess we’d put into that ring was no longer there. Goodwill transformed the ring into something else. I tried it on to confirm it so and purchased that ring, $10 above my Flinch Point.

I wore that ring, along with one of the smart dresses Modern Mommie chucked at me, on our anniversary dinner date. I gesticulated all through dinner and felt I was bordering on developing a new sign language until he finally noticed around dessert. He was shocked and - for a moment - speechless.

Goodwill has a fast turn around. Apparently, he’d given up the ring months before. Odd that it took so long for it to hit the floor. Odd that it should show up on our anniversary. Call it serendipitous. But, it happened and now the ring makes for a great story and brings only laughs all because it came from Goodwill.

As I put my hand in his I told him, “You dropped where I shop.”

Built to last? Don't think so!

Planned obsolescence. According to Wikipedia: Planned obsolescence (or built-in obsolescence). is the process of a product becoming obsolete or non-functional after a certain period or amount of use in a way that is planned or designed by the manufacturer. Also known as Designed to Fail.

Designed to fail. We are buying products that are designed to fail. Lovely.

Most of us relate this to appliances. A refrigerator cops out after a few years and we’re told it would be cheaper to replace it than to fix it. Are repairmen paid to say that? This makes me untrustworthy of higher-end appliances. Should I fork over fifty percent more that ultimately earns a mere extra year of product life? One extra year? Wow, I’m turning cartwheels. Maybe an Easy-Bake Oven is a better deal.When the Golightly’s lose an appliance, I am instantly zapped back to my grandparent’s basement where a refrigerator from the ‘50’s sits, minding its own business, chugging along like WALL-E (see Pixar). My grandparents use it to hold overflow from the fridge upstairs, replaced many times. This little fridge holds a queue of hams that my grandmother bakes for families in need. She probably bakes over 400 annually. Although she bakes more cake, so the house smells more of cake. Really. There sits the fridge, nearing 60 years old, cranking out the cool air, working as designed. It’s has a likeness to John Henry, though it doesn’t die. I always hate that part in John Henry. If that fridge ever goes down in the line of duty, I believe it will deserve Taps.

We know that planned obsolescence is great for Wall Street but is hard on the planet and our pocket books. Actually, I don’t see how this benefits the consumer in any way. The retail machine probably says it “increases opportunities” for consumers. How many choices of clothing do we really need? Especially when it comes to a greater cost both in money, pollution and waste over time?

Here’s something to think about. The fashion industry has been producing items of planned obsolescence for decades. We just don’t make the connection when we throw out clothes, because they are a lot easier to toss than say - a washing machine. We all know when it comes to fashion what goes around comes around. So acquire a quality pair of pointed-toe and square-toe black dress shoes. Take them to the cobbler for repair. Please tell me you know what a cobbler is, I'm not talking pie.

Cheap clothing may seem wonderful at discount retailers because it’s, ugh, cheap. It hardly lasts. The same thing happens at the higher end, too. Years ago, I bought a darling empire waist t-shirt at a very posh department outlet store for $38. I loved the design and it was very flattering. The original price was over $140 and the t-shirt lasted one summer when it started to wear holes in the fabric. I saved it, in hopes that if I ever take up sewing, the garment is ready for a sturdy reproduction(s).

So what has this to do with thrift? The clothing racks at the thrift store provide a direct comparison of what was produced to fail (whether it be the garment or a supremely trendy style) and what is not. Whether it’s the fabric, the quality of construction or the overall look, the shopper at least has a chance at buying an item that will last.

Many people ask me what brands to buy. I really don’t know. I recommend that shoppers really dig into the bins and racks. If you do, I promise you will learn a lot about clothing – largely because quality is no longer recognized and vendors prefer shoppers keep a blind-eye, ignorant to fabric quality (blends, thread-counts) and construction (adding binding).

A fine example is my famous sturdy black dress, bought for five dollars last spring. It was hand made, nearly reversible to the point that, in my mad dashes to get dressed and downstairs to the morning elixir of coffee, I wore it inside out for months! No one noticed, but many complimented!

Why should we knowingly buy a product that’s designed to fail? Would you enter a marriage knowing it was designed to fail? Buy stock in a company set to fail?

As mentioned in the previous post, I swapped out the fall/winter wardrobe for spring/summer. My annual goal is to have fewer items to donate with each rotation. Fewer items translate to smart shopping. I was really happy to see a lot of my favorite dresses again. They’re timeless. After all was squared away, I realized that I don’t need anything this summer, well maybe a few solid t-shirts. Overall, I am content and love my wardrobe. Even the swimsuit!

I donated: Two dresses, three pants, two skirts, one sweater, two pairs of yoga pants, two long sleeve and three short sleeve blouses and a purse. Whoops, scratch the purse, Petite Poe snatched it. Little Pie’s contribution was more given that she had grown out of many items. Some of those items were hard to part with because of the memories they evoke. But, I’m giving away the garment, the memory will stay with me.

And yes, after I swapped wardrobes, it snowed. Not enough to stick but enough to make it too cold for a sturdy little black dress – for now.

The path to fashion enlightenment

Tis time for a powerfully important ritual performed twice a year. Time to exchange the contents of my closet from fall/winter attire to spring/summer.

We live in an old house, which generally translates to small closets. Many consider this a ding against the house value, but I don’t see it that way. Small closets force me to alternate seasonal wardrobes from closet to under-the-bed storage bins. Though I do have an odd superstition, leery of pulling out spring attire because Denver weather has multiple personalities. Yup, I alone could irritate the Snow Gods to bring on three feet of white stuff out of spite, just by pulling out a sleeveless linen dress. Perhaps a press release of my pending transition as a forewarning to local weather forecasters might be a good idea. In the meantime, the Yankee Clipper and Radio Flyer sleds remain on full alert and the snow shovel rests on the front porch. Maybe after Mothers Day they can be relieved of duty.

The process of seasonal swapping commands me to inventory the haves and determine needs versus wants. Giant, walk-in closets don’t require that seasonal exchange. Not unless it becomes so packed one can no longer enter it. Besides, forced entry into such a closet comes with serious threat of clothes blindness where one can be inches from the door, but not able to see it thanks to giant clothes drifts. These giant closets should come with a giant warning label or OnStar communication system. This is America, no doubt it has happened, some poor woman stuck in her closet for days. It will never make the news because who wants to admit that?

This process encourages me to treat clothes with respect. Afterward, there is a brief period of mending a seam or sewing a button. How many Americans still do that? How many own even semi-stocked sewing boxes? If you have time to watch corny reality shows, then you certainly have time to mend a few clothes. Besides, these acts have a meditative quality. I find that American culture is losing many simple acts that help us pause, relax and appreciate something. Why? Because when we appreciate what we have there's a big possibility we won’t want more.

Mostly, this process keeps me fiscally responsible. If I have to shop, it's done with greater wisdom and knowledge of my needs. Items I purchase blend with my wardrobe. I don’t buy cheap, trendy clothes that require me to buy more clothes. Ever done that? If you do, just return the offending item and forgo the unnecessary expense. What I buy will be worn.

This process keeps my wardrobe honest. Items unused for two seasons - unless it’s something unique - go to the thrift store. Many American closets are packed with closet filler. What is closet filler? Items that still have the tags on them that have been hanging in the same spot for years. Closet filler distorts perception. There are many Americans who have huge, fully stocked closets supporting hundreds of ensembles, but the owner wears the same seven-day attire. Weird, no?

We’ve been in our house for over ten years. The goal is to reduce the spring haul to the thrift store. Why? Because that means I’m getting to be wiser in my retail choices. The same process is performed with my daughters. Our thrift donation largely comes from Little Pie’s wardrobe, items that no longer fit. My clothes filter down to Petite Poe which in turn filter on down to Little Pie and eventually end up thrift.

My wardrobe is becoming more and more timeless. I believe there’s a misconception of what is (and is not) a timeless wardrobe. Many people equate "timeless" with a conservative style. Trust me, I don’t dress conservatively. A timeless wardrobe is built with a solid foundation of quality clothing. For starters, there’s the little black dress that can go from beach to a fine restaurant depending upon the shoes and how hair is styled.

I’ve come to realize (and it’s a painful realization of how fast time passes) that many of my clothes where purchased after graduating college in the 90’s. Yup, I have gorgeous, timeless summer dresses from the 90’s that still receive compliments.

A wardrobe needs tending, mending and thought to become timeless. Once you achieve that state of fashion enlightenment, the forces of want (and suffering from the onslaught of tacky yearly and seasonal trends) are forgone. The bank account gets added protection too. Fashion enlightenment is better than any strongly fortified fashion insurance policy.

Maybe soon I can tackle Mr. Golightly (he's been insanely busy) for a photo shoot of my twenty-year-old items mixed with thrifted items and you can tell me whether I look like an old maid or whether these clothes are indeed timeless. Some of my older wardrobe was bought in the lower level consignment shops of Chicago's Gold Coast and Boston's Newbury Street.

Please, I dare you to look into the deepest, darkest recesses of your closet. It’s a brave thing to do. Do you like what you see?

Post Script: I kid you not. It’s been raining today. After I posted and went to my closet the rain turned to snow, it's too warm to stick but sheesh! Damn the torpedo’s! Spring has sprung in my closet! I don’t care if I wear sandals in the snow, they’re gorgeous sandals!

Save more does not mean buy more!

An unsolicited email from a major discount retailer appeared in my email in box and the re: line read “Fab Frugality” citing free shipping on women’s clothes.

What? Frugality and chain retailers are like vinegar and water!

No doubt the masses will blindly follow and think they are joining the new frugal movement. We’ve become a society that establishes personal identity by literally buying into a “movement”. Frugality, the new black!

The reality? It’s a sad, distorted marketing campaign; veiled consumerism. Frugality, by nature, completely goes against the basic tenets of consumerism. Don’t buy into marketed frugality!

I recently heard a car commercial daring the view to become an original and buy their car. Add to this that I probably watch two to three hours of network TV a week. We don’t even have cable. I’ve no idea what other nonsense is being brainwashed into the minds of the couch-bound, cable-watching consumer. Part of me is curious and the other part is afraid I’ll get so angry that I’ll spontaneously combust.

I once heard a radio show on Frugality talk about a half-off bookseller only to conclude that one could take the money they save and buy another book or go out to lunch! What? Consumerism loves that kind of thinking! Save more? Spend more!

Word up! When practicing frugality, money saved is just that – money saved! Not money spent because you saved. There’s a big difference in philosophy, practice and bank accounts.

Let’s do something simple. Let’s pull up frugality on Dictionary.com:
-economical in use or expenditure; prudently saving or sparing; not wasteful: a frugal manager.
-entailing little expense; requiring few resources; meager; scanty: a frugal meal.

Now, think about it, does buying more because you saved money fit this description? Maybe some times but not all the time. And, I’d say that that small percentage of some times would apply to an item that is a necessity or will be bought in the near future.

Let’s go back to Dictionary.com and look up original:
-arising or proceeding independently of anything else: an original view of history.
-capable of or given to thinking or acting in an independent, creative, or individual manner: an original thinker.
-created, undertaken, or presented for the first time: to give the original performance of a string quartet.

Is there anything original in buying a car based on a TV commercial?

Sheesh! I guess it won’t be long until chain retailers will attempt to entice us to literally buying into their notion of sustainable practices and buy their products.

Ugh! My head just fell into my hands in disgust. Not long after I wrote this, an email just came through from a chain-retailer engaged in supremely unsustainable practices attempting to market sustainable products!

I’m off to take my frustration out in my new raised bed vegetable garden built of re-purposed wood and hardware. I’m prepping the soil and pulling out the rocks. Good thing the rocks I need to be rid of are in my garden and not my head! The more I live, the more I believe that consumerism just dumps retail rocks in the heads of the innocent. Give your head a shake. If you sense there might be any rocks, pound your head like one does when they have water in their ears and get those rocks out.

If you're new to The Thrifty Chicks and agree with this post, you might have interest in an our Op Ed written for The Christian Science Monitor, We count calories. Why not carbon?

Time Out

Recent stress is taking a cognitive toll on my energy. There are plenty of thoughts for me to write but, these days, I've a lack of energy. I call these days Bad Brain Days and I don't pay bills on a bad brain day because the bank will probably call and ask which amount did I intend to pay, the numerical or the written?

This was the initial post to our sister blog Mommy Golightly. It might help explain my Bad Brain Days. Please read, there is some critical advice in it.

Living in the present is an essential part of a balanced and healthy life. I’m not always in the moment but I sure aim for it and miss sometimes. After this auto accident, I can say I hit the mark of being in the present more often than not. Every night at tuck in, I thank both my daughters "for another day," then I kiss them and wish for more days, months and years. I can wish for tomorrow but I really have today.

I did not truly understood the importance of taking wonder in the present until I was in a serious auto accident coming home from the grocery store on a quiet neighborhood street. Had I been in my husband’s compact commuter car, I would not be here to write this story.

The Story That Changed Me

No person wakes up and thinks, "Hmm, after I read the Sunday paper, I’m going grocery shopping and will be on a quiet neighborhood street around noon so my Pathfinder can be hammered by Four Runner driven by a fledgling driver who will run a stop sign at such speed my car will be airborne, roll, and land upside down perpendicular onto the opposite street.” People don’t write those events in their daily planners. But that doesn’t mean they don’t happen.

It happened to me one beautiful Sunday around noon in the fall of 2003. Right before the 17-year-old hit me, behind the left front tire, dangerously close to the driver’s door, I was thinking about what a beautiful shade of blue the sky was and how at peace things felt. I was excited to give my daughters two white pumpkins purchased at the store.

Didn’t I see him coming? Yes, about a half a second before impact. I braked – hard. When people are running stop signs in neighborhoods with trees and gardens blocking the view of corners and they’re driving really fast with no intention of braking, one cannot see them coming. They just appear.

There were four fortunate things about that day: 1) I was alone. My husband and two daughters, ages two and four, were safe at home. 2.) I didn’t die. 3.) There was a witness behind me and came to me right away. Though much younger than me, she nurtured me like a mother and I cried like baby. 4.) The ambulance, fire department and police were on the scene before I even understood why they were there.

I was traveling less than 25 miles an hour, slowing to meet a red stop light on the next block. After impact, the boy’s Four Runner hit the corner curb and sheared off the front right tire of his mother’s car. I crawled out from under my car onto a field of shattered glass to look for that other driver and determine if medical attention was required. It was hard to see because of the blood running into my eyes. The other driver was nowhere to be found. With airbag deployed and not one drop of blood on it, it looked a freshly made bed of white sheets where perhaps I could lay my aching head. I felt like a ghost hit me.

They put the kid in the ambulance with me for observation. He cried the entire trip, “I’ve only had my license for four weeks and now I’m going to lose it! How will my mother get to work tomorrow? She’s going to be so mad at me!”

In the ambulance strapped down on the gurney and immobile, I practiced Lamaze breathing to stay calm. “I’m glad my babies weren’t with me,” I told the EMT. He smiled, patted me gently and said, “Me too.” He was very sincere. How do EMT’s remain sane and stable after pulling mangled children from car accidents? Bless all EMT’s. They have my deepest respect as do firemen and police. Next time you see an ambulance or fire truck racing past with lights on, whether you're a man or woman, blow them a kiss and wish them Godspeed. Okay, if you're a man and don't want to blow kisses then salute them. But be assured, if they ever save your life or someone you love, you'll want to kiss them.

I never heard from the boy or his parents and later learned that the police officer on the scene failed to check a simple box, “injury accident.” Why he didn’t, I don’t know. Maybe he felt sorry for the kid. Maybe he forgot. Had this box been checked, this kid would have been mandated to stand before a judge. Instead, he paid his ticket early and received a lesser charge. His ticket was under $100. Once the judge learned about this, the officer was reprimanded. Seems everyone paid dearly but this kid, who walked away with a sore thumb from the air bag.

The kid's parents escorted him out of the ER while I was in x-ray. They walked right by my husband, waiting to learn of his wife’s condition. They offered no words of solace or concern.

So began my convalescence. My husband burned through vacation time and then onto three months of FMLA taking care of our daughters and taking me to countless doctors appointments. Life stood still and painful.

My first diagnosis was muscular damage in the regions of C3 and C4. This took years to fix. Soft tissue damage is very slow to heal and often triggers unhealthy cycles of overcompensating muscles. I wore a jacket several times a week that sent electrical shock pulses to try and strengthen these muscles. I did therapy, acupuncture and took painful cortisone injections to the base of my skull where I could actually hear the long needle going into my head. Mind you I don't usually have any problems with needles but these were different, medical shive is more like it. This cycle of muscle weakness caused headaches the crept up from the back of my head and over the top to my forehead. I called them headache caps but I couldn’t take them off.

After all that I can say, I love acupuncture.

These headache caps were nothing compared to the post concussive headaches from what my neurologist told me was a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, an MBTI. He admitted “mild” was not a fair word. It basically meant that I didn’t need to go into an institution. MBTI’s are receiving more medical research with more soldiers coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan with them. Not certain if they issue Purple Hearts for them. If not, they should for any person with an MBTI will tell you they’d have rather broken their arms and legs. Bones heal faster than brains and muscles.

For a few months I couldn’t read anything more than a headline, couldn’t follow movie plots, couldn’t even cook soup because I’d forget about it until I smelled the scalding pan. I think one of the saddest things happened six months after the accident. I went to my daughter’s spring recital. I managed to sit through it and tell her she did a great job. Then I raced home to throw up and get ready for the pending headache hell. Watching a group of beautiful first graders sing was too much for my brain to manage. I couldn’t watch snowfall with out tossing my cookies and going to bed for hours with a headache. For several years, nausea was a major indicator that a headache was on its way. So I left little parts of me all over town as I raced to get home before completely incapacitated.

That’s my story. Months later my dear friend Ken of 21 years asked me, “What have you learned?” He wasn’t patronizing. He was curious and sincere. And, he was the only one to ask.

When in chronic pain with two to three serious post-concussive headaches a week and most your time either in bed, at various doctors appointments, or some kind of therapy, you don’t spend much time reflecting. And, depression creeps in as you lose the capacity to do the things that once gave you joy. I’ve always felt reflection is critical to a healthy life so I answered Ken’s question. Follows is roughly what I wrote and I think much of it pertains to living in and having a deep appreciation for present.

Fundamental Advice

1. The state of shock has no emotion and has no sense of time.
2. A simple mind is not a stupid one.
3. What you are today will not be who you are in a week, month, or year.
4. Appreciate your health; aside from love and a safe place, nothing else really matters.
5. Multi-tasking is overrated.
6. What’s the rush?
7. Value the everyday routine. You’ll dearly miss it when it’s gone. I cried the first time I did laundry and folded my girl’s little clothes.
8. At age 36, I finally accepted that I am an adult. I’d been a responsible bill paying, tax paying, home owner and mother of two for years. However the completely selfish, adolescent whines of this 17-year-old along with his total ignorance as to what he did to another person put to rest all of my previous objections of accepting full on adulthood.
9. I have an internal guidance system. It’s my voice but it’s not me and calmly directs with the simplest words of in life-threatening conditions. “Lock your arms to the steering wheel, push back into the seat, you don’t have an airbag. You’re going to roll, be small. It’s over. Get out! Get out! Get out! Go find the other driver.” My rear view mirror was level with the heating controls; all but two windows were shattered; the driver’s front side was like crumpled aluminum foil with flaking paint chips and there was this little tiny space left for the driver. I was covered in radiator fluid. The drive shaft was bent. Doctors and physical therapists cannot figure how I came through without any broken bones. I told them, “I drink milk.” I do and always have. Below is a photo of the front of the car near the driver's side.

Practical Advice

1. Unless secured, groceries become weapons in a roll over. A soup can wedged open the back window of the Pathfinder. Groceries were all over the car and street.
2. Insurance claims adjusters can act with unconscionable manners. The kid’s mother’s insurance adjuster attempted to dodge reimbursement of our daughter’s car seats, mandated by state law. We had three seats for a whopping $300. “Seats are a standard item in a car. We do not reimburse standard items,” and they expected us to suck this hook, line, and sinker. That’s when we hired an attorney because we knew these folks, though they did not contest fault, did not have our best interest at heart. It wasn't personal. It was business.
3. Research and buy the safest car seat you can find. This is not an item you run over to the store to pick up, like milk. I understand car seats can become annoyances and feel causal. Looking at those empty car seats upside down in my mangled car taught me how important they are.
4. From the very beginning, be prepared to drive again. Don’t let a fear of it even start to simmer. I remember looking at my mangled car and thinking, “Damn! I have to drive again.” Immediately accepting that did me world of good and saved me from a lot of future anxiety, something I really wouldn’t need when I had a mountain of recovery ahead. This can become an overwhelming fear; a fear so huge it gets in the way of just living.
5. Slow down at right of way intersections to give yourself a shot of catching a stop sign runner. I’m not attempting to induce a fear, just an awareness.

Comic but Relevant Advice

1. The kid who hit me called me a “lady”. Ladies have set blue hair, wear coats in the summer, and smell like mothballs. Thanks KID. Your were a KID and behaved like one. You were a minor who abused your privilege, not right, to drive.
2. It’s a big bummer when you roll into the ER on a gurney and all the attending physicians are younger than you. Aren’t doctors supposed to be older than their patients? I thought that was a natural law like gravity.
3. I was taken to the nearest hospital, the public hospital. I was the only patient not handcuffed to my bed. I was so proud!
4. Don’t try to be tough. You want drugs. When offered, take them. Nobody’s going to think you a better person for turning them down. You will have enough hell to manage besides physical pain.
5. I have two guaranteed methods for weight loss. 1) Be your own general contractor on an eight-week kitchen remodel. 2) Suffer a brain injury. I dropped 20 pounds in a little more than a month. The injury closed down the part of my brain that said, “Eat!” And when I finally did eat, my stomach had forgotten what to do with food and it was painful.

In Retrospect

Exactly what happens at 16 or 17 years of age that creates a pressing need for a teen to drive? Parents, I understand you are tired of playing chauffeur. I am a mother who chauffeurs; I get it. Those three years of changing diapers was tiring too. But that didn't mean that I made my daughters sit on potties all day because I was sick of changing diapers. Years of constantly explaining why they couldn't have everything they wanted was tiring too. But that didn't mean that I caved in and gave them credit cards to buy things on greed, ignorance and impulse.

I fear 16 and hope the driving laws are raised to 18 by the time my children are of age to drive. My children will be more at risk of dying in a car crash when they are teens than they will be for catching West Nile Virus. But, what does the media focus on? Of course I have my opinions on teen driving based on experience and, based upon my experience, I feel very entitled to these feelings. I'm not certain why, but I do not believe we take that act of passing the keys with the serious nature that would be wise to accompany it.

After all that I have lived through, I have learned to take a step every day. Some days, it's very tiny step, minuscule. Other days, it's so huge I felt like a flew. Most days, it's just a step and that is good enough because it is movement. My movement feels a bit lighter on this planet and that makes me understand my fragility but it also makes me strong. Most of all, it makes me Mommy Golightly.

Below is a photo of my daughters ages six and two on a family vacation exactly seven days prior to the accident. They are feeding chipmunks. My youngest was a bit nervous, but intrigued by these "monkchips."

Thrifting in DC!

The DC Fashionista goddess of Goodwill honored us with an invitation to post on their blog.

We decided to post about Kids & Thrift.

We also hope this offer includes a tour of DC thrift spots when we’re in town. We're good for it.

Where the love you give comes back to you

I want to believe kindness begets kindness. In this partisan world, kindness takes a back seat to power. This, to the point we need to be reminded to be kind. Power and money sometimes sadly seem to come innately.

Here in lies the beauty of the charitable thrift. I can have my cake and eat it. In a former post, Learning When To Let Go, I was met with one comment that felt a wrong decision had been played. I put some serious thought to that possibility. An antique table had been sitting in my garage for years and would remain so for many more to come. It was not a family heirloom. I had paid nothing for it. But, it was an object of quality and beauty. I let it go to the charitable thrift store.

My wondering was answered on my very next trip to the thrift store. There, in the front window, was a table almost exactly the same as the one I’d given! I had my moment of reflective serendipity and it felt better than tickling my daughter. I smiled and joyously whispered, “Thank you.” I love it when these things happen. It makes me feel like I'm on the right road to happiness.

Reality check: would something like that ever happen in conventional retail? Not a chance because conventional retail is simply about money and mixing values with luxuries until you don’t know what you need versus what you want so you just spend hoping you’ll hit the mark of satiation.

Confusing, no? Well, you’ll probably spend more money when you’re confused. I’m certain this has been studied. Oh, and that mark of satiation is such a small mark, a shopper’s chances of hitting it are slim. So, they will keep shopping. And shopping.

When it comes to conventional retail the love or the money you give doesn’t really come back to you. It just seems to fall into a pit. Perhaps long ago, when storekeepers knew their customers there was a cycle of kindness and giving that sustained the community. Perhaps, a storekeeper would lend or give when families were hit low. Perhaps they cared about their customers well being. But, I just don’t get that warm and fuzzy feeling in a mall.

In these hard economic times, why not turn to the charitable thrift store? Participate fully. Donate and shop. What you give will come back to you in some other way that you need. And what you spend will directly help those in need.

My question has been answered. See, I was saving that table for my daughter’s when they leave the nest. Now I know, there will be a table at the charitable thrift waiting for them when they are in need of one.

What is your mark of satiation? Mine? A healthy family. Healthy friends. Education. Shelter and food. A Marc Jacobs bag is not going to sustain me and the cost could rival three months of groceries.

Learning when to let go

My neighbor offered it while cleaning out her garage when she moved. There must have been stars my eyes when she asked if I wanted it, free. It was an antique French Provincial dining table with two legs with brass caps. It wasn’t in mint condition but it was decent and could easily be refinished to near perfection. An elderly French woman had given it to my neighbor years before.

The table went into from her alley garage to ours. I needed to think about where to put it. It was soon apparent that there was no room for it in our modest 100 year-old home. But it was beautiful and I didn’t want to let it go. I thought I’d keep it for my daughter’s when they grow up.

As I have written many times, this recession has landed on my family like Dorothy’s house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East in Oz. Despite the fact that we’ve lived within our means during our 14-year marriage, Mr. Golightly and I have had to tighten an already tight belt and turn to the charities we used to support.

But there are always ways to give, even when your own pockets are empty. Upon cleaning out my youngest daughter’s closet of quality toys she no longer plays with and nice clothes that no longer fit, I turned to the garage in rounding up the donations for the charitable thrift. I donate by season. With children, I always have items to donate.

And there it was, the beautiful antique table, unused for years sitting in my garage and my neighbor’s garage before. I sighed knowing it was time to let it go. It will be many years before either of my daughters will need it and who knows where they’ll be when the time comes, they could be living on the other side of the planet.

So the table went to the charitable thrift store where I know it will sell for a handsome but fair price to someone who will be thrilled to have it and will put it to use now.

I’ll bet there are items in your home that are not in use that another person needs. When we let go of those items not only to we help a charitable organization, we open the possibility for another person to honor that object and welcome it’s use.

Maybe when my daughters are grown, there will be a beautiful table waiting for them in a thrift store to help them outfit their new homes. I don’t like to think of them leaving the nest, but they will someday. Hopefully they will participate in the thrift market. Maybe by then, reuse will be more common than now.

Air their dirty laundry

Catherine over at The Vegan Good Life sent me another great story. I’m not a germaphobe, but do draw the line on buying underwear at thrift stores, even though they have the original retail tag still dangling.

I love debunking conventional retail myths. Here’s one on, yup, dirty underwear from The Today Show.

So again, I say wash ALL clothes when you bring them from ANY store.

You just might be paying a full price on something used in conventional retail stores.

So why should thrift be so gross?

Thanks Catherine!

Good taste has nothing to do with how much you spend

I don’t know what made me do it. Normally I could care less. Perhaps it was because my impressionable daughter, Petite Poe, was glued to it last night.

While going in to check email today I followed the link to the Grammy Dress List. Perhaps you heard me scream at, oh, 5PM Mountain Time.

If the entertainment industry is any indicator of American high fashion, we clearly have no taste. There a saying. It's something like, “The difference between good and bad taste is restraint.” Some of those women couldn’t restrain their over inflated breasts! It’s not sultry! It’s a mess! How about the women who wore dresses so short if they were to take an ever-so- slight bow we’d catch an unsolicited view. I’d like to personally thank all those women, for setting me miles back in teaching my oldest daughter one of the most basics of fashion – don’t publicize your coochee. The woman above looks like she's glamorizing domestic violence with that bruised-looking eye.

I'd like to see the price, not by the hour, but rather the total amount spent for these ridiculous ensembles. I imagine that some of these ensembles rival the grocery bills for a family of four for, oh, TEN MONTHS! And, we're supposed to think this is wonderful?

Money doesn’t buy style. Style is in eye of the beholder and I can offer proof.

What I don’t understand is how I can buy a simple dress for $9 in the thrift store and it has more class than most every dress I saw. I even thrifted my husband a classic Givechy tux for $9 and he would have been rated as one of the top-dressed in that tux. I cannot begin to comprehend the money that was wasted for that event, especially while so many Americans are counting pennies for groceries, literally.

You be the judge, here’s a quick snapshot, not a professional photograph, my husband took as we set off for the 2009 Goodwill Power of Work Luncheon. I paid $9 for this silk dress. I certainly had no money for someone to do my hair or make up. I’m not certain I had time to shower. Tailor the dress a little, put up my hair...

Let’s compare this to Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Don’t know who she is but feel sorry for what she is attempting.

Here’s Britney!

Normally I could care less about how the entertainment industry dresses. But, now that my daughter watches this stuff and could be sucked into that funnel of extremely expensive bad taste, I care a whole lot. Not only could she, in her naïveté, send the world the wrong message of who she is but, over time, waste the down payment on a home doing it!

Word up to the entertainment industry, “Stars” are timeless in their presentation. Their gazing beauty lies in their elegant simplicity. Good grief, think of how Audrey Hepburn managed style. It was once said all the woman needed was a scarf and she could transform herself in the most beautiful of ways. Most of the women I saw don’t need scarves. They need therapy.

Sorry to sound like a mother but that’s what I am. If your not one now you will be someday and, I promise, you’ll feel the same way I do now.

Gottcha!

Catherine over at The Vegan Good Life passed over a piece from ABC’s "Good Morning America", How Clean Are Your New Clothes?. I knew this phenomenon was true from my experiences, once described in the post What’s the bait and where’s the switch. But I didn’t have scientific evidence. This bit of news offers up the possibility of that new blouse, sitting in that shopping bag with fluffed tissue paper and tags still dangling might not be the clean item you think you paid for.

Readers know I’ve been steadily poking holes in the conventional retail notion, “If it’s not new, it’s eww!” This GMA article is but another piece debunking this conventional retail-based (not fact-based) notion that ill-informed consumers are literally buying into.

If this GMA post doesn’t gross you out. I defer to another post, Perhaps new is eww. Human teeth found in “new” products? This stuff sounds more like an archeological dig than a conventional retail store. Or, maybe a TV crime scene.

I’ve been noticing more written articles delicately addressing thrift store aversions. To think some people would consider it a mark of shame to bump into an acquaintance in a thrift store. Good grief! Do we really need to be delicate and soothing about this matter? Are Americans that snobby? All I can offer is my personal experience followed up with a loud “Get over yourself!” I run into my friends at the local thrift like it’s the neighborhood coffee shop. Then again, most of us don’t have cable TV and we do things together like camping. Our children’s clothes are lovingly passed on to friends with younger siblings who proudly wear them. Some of these garments are on their third generation. I guess some Americans would call my daughters deprived considering what I’ve just written combined with the fact that we don’t have a “Wii” to go for a run or hike “we” actually get out side and do it.

As usual, I apologize for being so snarky and, uh, painfully direct. Like I always say, in the words of my family’s matriarch, “Someone’s gotta!”

If you are a new visitor to this blog, be certain to scroll back up and pull up the Thrift Catalog slide show featuring over 240 items. This could give you an idea of what could be waiting for you. Also check to the Table of Blog Contents to read on how to incorporate thrift into your life in Thrift Store Conventions.

Why are two major retailers torturing their own trash?

I couldn't believe it and double-checked it to be true. This Tuesday Jim Dwyer from The New York Times gave us A Clothing Clearance Where More Than Just the Prices Have Been Slashed. Consider Dwyer's short article mandatory reading and please pass it on.

We are aware that retailers, especially giants like WalMart, have stacked decks and play consumers to up purchases (often with items no one needs) and up profit margins for Wall Street. It's sneaky, it's dirty and it sinks consumers into debt so deep they need pressurized submarines for the commute home.

But, this is all front end activity. Who could ever think that retailers would slaughter perfectly fine goods to make them trash? Why not donate them? Could they truly be so childish and think, "If no one will buy this coat, I'll be damned that no one will ever wear this coat and rip it to shreds!"

In the words of Little Pie, "I think that's like torture to the people who need clothes. Winter is a dangerous time for homeless people, they can get hypothermia. They deserve warm clothes." Good grief! My eight year old daughter has more compassion than the lot of companies taking such selfish, ridiculous measures.

Is there retail redemption for such a wasteful act in a time of such pressing need?

Thrift Store Resolution Revolution II

My grandfather asked me if I had a New Year’s resolution.

I always find it odd to plan resolutions in the dead of winter, when most life is asleep or temporarily closed for business.

It seems more symbolic to make resolutions in the spring when the wilderness is awakening, babies of the wild are being born, some seeing the outside world for the first time. It only makes sense to ride this great wave of awakening and catch the energy to activate healthy resolutions as your biological clock awakens too. To be honest, it’s hard to make a resolution to exercise when the days are short, cold and there’s snow and ice on the park paths. I think we’d all prefer to settle down for a long winter’s nap instead. But spring? Who doesn’t want to be outside then?

However, if you desire to retool your spending habits so that your holiday financial hangover doesn’t interfere with paying heating bill for the first quarter of the new year, now is time be resolute to take up thrift shopping.

Charitable thrift stores can move inventory with hurricane force winds and inventory for 2009 tax write offs is flying through stores as I write. And then there are the procrastinators, those who will take the 2010 write off after the New Year because they didn’t quite make the deadline. Best to thrift when the inventory is high and the price is low! Us Golightlys? We take items to the thrift store on an as-needed basis, usually with seasonal changes.

Among the current items thrift store shoppers will find are items given as gifts but not wanted, which may be for the simple case they already have that item. Me? I’m hoping for a Kitchen Aid Mixer - red. If I've bought Tiffany's, Hermes, Limoges, Wedgwood, appearal from Barneys and Nordstrom (sometimes new), I think I have a shot at Kitchen Aide. My little mixer works okay, but there are times when it chugs through cookie dough and I swear it’s screaming, “Not sure I can! Not sure I can!” I’m usually screaming back, “Someone’s gotta! Someone’s gotta you damn little mixer that better!” So I talk to my kitchen appliances. Big deal. Who doesn’t?

I hear the term re-gifting bandied about less and less these days. I always hated the notion. Why would someone buy a present that would be so blah, or otherwise completely in the opposite taste of the recipient that it would be laughable or -even worse- painful? Why would the news world consistently run stories about the possibilities of re-gifting? Why not run a story on how not to buy a bogus gift - and not be the butt of jokes for years to come? I wrote a post nearly a year ago, “Wow! This is so… You! What’s happened to the art of giving?” It’s a rollicking read and hit home with many readers.

Notice that the news now focuses less about re-gifting and more about hoarders. Are those unwanted new gifts shoved somewhere under piles of stuff in the homes of hoarders? Probably. And this is weird. January is typically the month for storage item sales. Are hoarders hoarding storage items that are supposed to make them more organized? Probably. We'll have to wait come February to see what's making the rounds in thrift stores.

Thrift opens new shopping venues, saves you money, supports charity and helps you be a bit kinder by lowering your carbon footprint when shopping. Here’s a brief how-to:

1. Plan ahead. Shop for gifts year round. We all know that we’ll buy holiday gifts. Is there a law that says we must buy them between Black Friday and Christmas Eve? When you plan ahead you have a greater chance that: a.) you might buy the person something they actually need or like because you are not in a time crunch and have the flexibility to think more about them; b.) you will save money, lots of it.
   
   
2. If you’re new to thrift, read the section on How to thrift, in the left column. Conventional retail and thrift are in different ballparks. Learn how to develop a thrift mindset and detailed tips on how to find items you need while in the store in this section. This just might help you earn yourself a pair of Snake Eyes.
   
   
3. If you don’t have any big storage bins, pick some up (perhaps at the thrift store) to hold items in the gift queue. Don’t just toss them about the house thinking you’ll remember where you put them. You won't remember and -warning- this is how hoarders typically start. I have bins for: a.) children's birthday gifts, b.) grown-up birthday gifts (if I write “adult” that sounds like something I picked up at some dirty NC-17 store off I-70 in the Midwest - along with cheap fireworks); c.) holiday gifts; and d.) small gifts for the hostess or thank-yous. When you find one of these gifts at the thrift store, put it in the appropriate bin for safekeeping.
   
   
4. When I’m in good form, I have a small inventory of boxes or decorative tea tins to put these gifts in so that when this gift’s time for giving is on hand, all I need to do is put a ribbon in it (usually bought from thrift) and a personal note. This takes a lot of stress out of giving and actually makes it fun. My basement is a small store of lovely goods where I know I can find something worthy of giving. I’m freed from long register lines and a commissioned sales staff.
   
   
5. Keep an open mind while in the store, and you just might find things you need, and make up for all those years of receiving gifts that made you sigh as you tossed them over your shoulder. You might just find yourself clutching a new Anthropologie dress for $7.99 while joyfully declaring, “Thank you thrift store! It’s so me! It’s exactly what I wanted but never knew!”

For example I bought this lovely Innova enameled cast iron heart casserole today at Goodwill for $7. It retails $60 (shipping not included). I assure you this casserole has never seen the inside of an oven, it is just missing it's original box. Think that box is worth the $53 difference? Do you know how wonderful a dutch oven is? You can toss just about anything in it meat or vegetable or combination of both and the results are magnificent. The covered casserole lets little vapor escape so the contents bake in their natural juices.

Today, I also bought a new or ever so gently used Coach handbag No G06S-10284 for $11. I found a lovely Sleeping on Snow sweater, sold at Anthropologie. The sweater cost $5 and appears to be new. Who knows what price Anthropologie had on it. All this along with a lovely collection of children's books for my library. I think the favorite is The Low-Down Laundry Line Blues by C.M. Millen followed by Why Kings and Queens Don't Where Crowns by Princess Martha Louise. This includes a CD read by Princess Martha Louise of Norway. The items I just listed, including the casserole, set me back $25. They probably retailed well over $275. But for me, the value is the happiness they bring or the need they fill and not the price. Well, there's no way I would have paid for those items full price, I'd rather pay my heating bill, but it's wonderful to have quality gifts to give to people I love.

Well, I'm probably preaching to the choir. So, if you know someone who needs to retool their shopping behavior and is currently in the doldrums of post holiday debt, send this along to them and call it a gift or consider it a consumer's intervention. Since the retail I write of is not illegal, health issues are not in play and the FDA has no jurisdiction over a chocolate fountain (only the chocolate) you have the charge with helping your friends who have a "retail problem." Retail Mania, it's one of the problems we don't speak of, the type of ailment so horrific the aunts from Neil Simon's Brighton Beach Memoirs can only whisper them.

If you are a new visitor to The Thrifty Chicks, be certain to scroll back up and open the Thrift Catalog slide show, featuring over 250 photographs of thrifted items. This gives you an inkling of what could be waiting for you. Also, check The Thrifty Chicks’ Table of Contents (prior posts) and read about other Thrift Store Conventions. We’ll get back to posting more on this. We just took a break from photos during the holidays.

Thrift is truly orginal haute couture

"Do people mind that you give used gifts?"

That's a frequent question. As I have written many times, it's hard to discern the origins of my gifts (unless it's clearly vintage) because I free new products from their horrid packaging. Look, this packaging is not designed to delight the recipient, the intention is to slide that product over home plate (the register scanner) to be added on to a score board (a well stacked credit card statement). [Sigh.]

Besides, my friends and family know that I give thrift. But, whenever I surprise someone they look at me with mouth agape. "Where!" they demand. Upon learning they usually follow up with, "I'm going there tomorrow!"

If you are new to thrift, please scroll down and on the left there is a series of posts on How to Thrift. Since thrift has recently been in the news, many reporters, with no thrift experience, have taken weak stabs at "How to thrift." I find 99% of these articles quite lacking. The thrift couture is an entirely separate game from conventional retail. With the exception of paying the cashier, the rules are completely different. Trying to mix them would be like serving goulash and sushi for dinner. Blech! Wonderful separately. But a disaster when mixed.

Mr. Golightly heard this intriguing piece, Second Hand Christmas in France, from Public Radio International's The World. I recommend you listen and be a little more enlightened about other cultures. So, not only do the French eat lovely buttery, creamy treats with fine wine while still managing a lovely figure; but their haute sense of style is due in part to second hand items. However, I learned from a spot on CBS Sunday Morning that the recent rise in the French obesity rate might just be linked, in part, to the rise in sales of Big Mac's in France. [Double sigh.] American influence is not always a plus, well maybe in dress size.

Unfortunately our country, probably by geological design, has a tendency for monoculture. Consumerism has done an amazing job of furthering and filtering a craving for excessive homogeny through nearly every aspect of American culture from chain restaurants to clothing to furniture to home designs. I believe this merely happened because it's cheaper to produce 20,000,000 pairs of the same blue jean design than it is to produce 20,000,000 originals. Let me be plain, I think that kind of sucks and wonder if most Americans really understand what it means to be an original or how we desperately need originals. The idea of being an "original" has even been mass marketed! Come again?

Esteemed author Michael Pollan points out the perils of farming monoculture species in his best seller, The Botany of Desire. This amazing book was made into a PBS documentary. I recommend the both it and the documentary. The documentary is easily viewed online.

I believe Pollan's argument in favor of promoting plant diversity holds true to human culture. Much that plays out in nature plays out in human culture. The parallels are astounding. We need pioneers. We need diversity. We need originals. Else-wise our culture will weaken and problems will be widely homogeneous, like mass obesity, children with brittle bones, mass home foreclosures, mass credit card debt, mass unemployment, dot com bubbles, real estate bubbles, and overdependent reliance on one particular source of energy...I truly believe a healthy culture has diversity on many levels.

If you're a parent, don't follow trends. My best advice to do is to yank the cable TV and dare your child to develop their personal inner interests. Our children really are truly individuals until commercials take hold of them. Let them decide what they enjoy and they will grow up to be originals, pioneers.

If you are a new visitor to this blog, be certain to scroll back up and pull up the Thrift Catalog slide show featuring over 240 items. This could give you an idea of what could be waiting for you. Also check to the Table of Blog Contents to read on how to incorporate thrift into your life in Thrift Store Conventions.

The Golightly 2009 Holiday Annual Report

This Friday was the last day for the 2009 school year. We are now on official holiday break. Friday was a giant personal deadline, my cut off date for purchasing holiday gifts and having them wrapped and ready for Christmas morning. I don’t like staying up until 2AM to wrap gifts while my children sleep.

Like most deadlines it can be a bit frantic as it nears completion. It’s not the shopping that makes this deadline brutal, it’s the wrapping. Given that I have 365 days to find items that recipients will appreciate, I won’t stress over shopping. Along my quest, I find items my family needs, often in advance of the need. This too lowers my stress.

My methodology is quite different from the 28 days of standard holiday shopping from Black Friday to Christmas Eve. As explained in the post Designing a Thrift Routine, most of it is accomplished in a series of 10-minute recon strikes married to the routine of my errand life. For example, when I visit the bank, I visit the thrift store next door for a quick ten with a pair of Snake Eyes to hone in on what’s new.

As an aside, I truly believe the thought counts more than the amount. If you’re in a tired, frantic, grumpy state, are you really thinking? Or are you desperate to be done with it? Please remember, the True Gift is to be Known & Understood, to have someone who’s taken the time to know you, understand you and supports you being who you are. Those are the gifts that make people want to fly. No price tag can be put upon knowing a person. I think this true gift is often lost in the holiday madness culture our country’s market has crafted. We might drive retail sales figures but in turn do those figures drive our happiness? Do they fill our closest needs?

Aside from making an honest effort to find gifts people will need or appreciate (and saving money) I want to spend the winter break with my family. I have a finite number of holiday breaks with my children and this number is shrinking every year. Why would I spend it in crowded malls getting grumpy? Truth be told, I absolutely hate spending a day driving all over town to find the right gift in panicked state. It makes me mean and impatient. Is that a decent role model for my children? Is that what I want them to believe giving is like?

Before reviewing the Golightly 2009 Holiday Annual Report, please know:

• We have a large extended family that spans the country, our shipping costs are often more than the actual gifts. Mailing done before Thanksgiving rewards us with a cheaper ground rate.
• None of these gifts are re-gifted.
• These gifts are a mix of thrift and conventional retail.
• These gifts do not include items for Little Pie’s and Petite Poe’s stockings. But most of that was thrift, I just didn't keep count of the cost. The cost is not much but the girls will love the goodies.
  
• Since I work at this through the course of the year, the spending has been spread out over many months. December’s bank and credit statements won’t be bleak like the long winter nights.
• These gifts do not include the cost of Little Pie's three wishes to Santa which tipped just over $100, very steep indeed but so worth keeping the belief alive for another year.
  
• These are the gifts I have purchased and don’t include items that my daughters will give to each other, Mr. Golightly or myself. Nor do they include gifts that Mr. Golighty will give to me – that is for him to know and me to find out.
• Though mostly thrift, these are not gifts to snub your nose at - they are eclectic, antique, brand new, and many are worth hundreds more than I paid for them whether it be a new item from thrift or a vintage item purchased thrift minus the mark up finder's fee on EBay.
  

The 2009 Golightly Holiday Annual Report:

• for the extended family, I spent $87 for 17 gifts, a $5.11 average per gift;
• for friends, I spent $28 for 9 gifts, a $3.11 average per gift;
• for school related items, I spent $33 for 8 gifts, a $4.12 average per gift;
• for my immediate family, I spent $199.75 for 35 gifts, a $5.70 average per gift.

My 2009 total spending for the holidays was $347.75 for 69 gifts , a $5.03 average per gift. I an pleased with the results. My average per gift was only three cents above my Flinch Point. This is especially interesting given that many greeting cards sell for more than my $5 Flinch Point.

Now, this many sound really obsessive, but I keep an Excel spreadsheet of holiday giving. Let’s face it, when the rubber hits the road, I cannot remember what I gave three years ago. But recipients remember. A similar record is kept for birthdays. These spreadsheets also help me keep track of what I’ve already purchased and for whom. For example, I bought an amazing find at the thrift store two days ago for an August birthday. I boxed it up, put it in my gift bin and noted it in my records. This particular gift is so cool that it will be hard not to give it for the holidays! Giving gifts early is a chronic temptation of mine.

You may think my process entirely obsessive, perhaps over the top, but I don’t stress over what to give people or how much I am spending. And, when Little Pie receives an invitation to a birthday party that she forgot to hand over and the party is tomorrow or that afternoon, I don’t need to race out and shop. I go downstairs to my little girls birthday bin and pull out a gift that this particular child would like. Done!

I stuck to my schedule and met my deadlines. But something is happening in Denver that is making things most difficult for me. This year has brought, what I believe to be, an unprecedented surge in last minute donations for 2009 tax deductions like no other. It’s wonderful for the thrift stores. But it’s cramping my shopping methodology. Knowing that incredible deals are quickly and rampantly running through my local thrift store as I write is making me edgy. Really edgy. In the last three days, I’ve purchased five brand new, wonderful birthday gifts for little girls for a total of $7.50 and the retail cost is $47.79. This is 15% of the retail cost for new items! Why wait for holiday sales in the conventional retail universe when the best deals are at the thrift stores now?

As Little Pie and I went to our neighborhood Goodwill last night a large U-Haul truck was backing up onto the donation ramp as we walked in. The theme from Mission Impossible blared in my head as I daydreamed of taking a blowtorch to the side of the van and burning a hole to climb inside to check out the goods first!

Like many people, some of my relatives send me money for the holidays. Usually I spend a small amount at post-holiday sales. However, within the last few days I bought myself a key necklace from Tiffany’s for $4, and a handcrafted vintage sterling spoon bracelet for $4. Last night I caught a vintage 1950’s button-down cape in mint condition for $13 -literally as it rolled onto the sales floor. I love my gifts!

So, maybe I will break with my methodology if it scores me some good stuff even before 2010.

If you are a new visitor to this blog, be certain to scroll back up and pull up the Thrift Catalog slide show featuring over 240 items. This could give you an idea of what could be waiting for you. Also check to the Table of Blog Contents and read about other Thrift Store Conventions.

Santa’s elves shop at thrift stores too

In the December 6th post, Little Pie’s three sweet wishes, I wrote of our experience taking our youngest daughter to meet up with Santa. At eight years old, Little Pie is a solid believer. You may recall, our family has a standing agreement that we wish for three items, anything more might appear greedy and greedy children are not good children. For at least a week out, Little Pie had her list on the straight and narrow: 1) a monocular, “like the sea captains of old used;” 2) a big plush tiger to cuddle; and 3) money from around the world. We were set and I had all my plans in order.

The monocular above I ordered from Ebay. I found a wooden box at the thrift store for $1 and had reindeer moss for filler to spare. In the previous post, I mentioned my elfish notions on North Pole gift presentation. Simplicity is critical. If you need help to think like an elf to make the magic, I recommend and elf’s diet which is mainly cupcakes and coffee. During the holidays I figure eating sweet helps make you sweet and the coffee, well, to stay awake. Achieving a full belief system of magic requires a lot of skill so best to be alert.

I could not afford the full sliding brass monocular as typical with what we think Captain Ahab might have used. But, this monocular is old. It’s not from 1891, but old enough. I love how my daughter asked for something vintage and has a notion that Santa also gives vintage or shall we say “reused” items. Yes Virginia, Santa is indeed green and cares very much about the state of our planet and is saddened by waste.

I’ve often found old objects carry more magic and evoke more curiosity. Ever noticed how when children draw bathtubs, they are often claw foot tubs? Yet, most homes do not have a claw foot tub. Ours does and if you like the luxury of a hot bath, you should ask for an old iron claw foot tub for the holidays, if your stacked with money get a copper one.

The plush tiger. I found him at Goodwill for $4. He is in like new condition and passed a cuddle test. A quick wash, not in our claw foot, put him right and ready to meet Little Pie on Christmas morning. Many of the plush toys at thrift stores are in excellent condition. The average American child receives more plush toys than they ever could play with and it’s off to the thrift store they go. I clipped off the tiger’s tags. As mentioned in the prior post, the North Pole is a free enterprise. So when possible, get rid of the tags, boxes or anything else that might even hint that this toy is not from the North.

The money from around the world. Wait! Little Pie pulled a shell game on me and at the last moment. While on his lap, she switched strategies to an EGYPTAIN COSTUME!

What? Once home with Little Pie asleep, I raced down stairs and dove into the Net. Most everything there was that barely-threaded, flammable fabric stuff. Sigh. Santa wouldn’t give that! I was in a pickle because I do not sew. Really. I have about 30 Girl Scout patches to sew on two uniforms. I am years behind. I have two girlfriends who are amazing designers but they have daughters of their own and asking them for an Egyptian costume would not be cool in December. Maybe in June but not December.

I did what I always do and took my snake eyes to the Goodwill at Archer and Broadway in Denver. There, I found the ultra cool necklace and two little red cases. Feeling good I jumped over Broadway and went into Boss Unlimited, a well organized vintage store. I found a simple cotton vintage slip in good condition. I figure Piper is thinking ancient Egypt so this dress has to have an old feel to it. Great! I’ll sew some kind of hieroglyphic on this slip. It’s hot in Egypt and the images portrayed are always in a simple white dress.

Finally I drove over to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science where I found the gold headdress and a few scarabs to sew onto the slip. I figure that is enough to make my Little Pie feel like an ancient African queen. As little girls, didn’t we all dream of being Cleopatra? I printed off a few “tags” to help the little suit cases look like they’ve been traveling and passed through customs because this costume was coming from Egypt.

Thankfully I carefully checked out the gold wig. It had a “Made in China” sticker in a hidden spot. Good thing I found it. An Egyptian wig made in China? Indeed! I’ve always wondered what factory workers in China must think about as they whip out oddly shaped erasers, plastic blow horns and other senseless stuff. What would you think about another culture if you sat in a factory for 8-10 hours a day making paddleballs for them?

So there it is. A little girl who is asking Santa for antiquated items. Children are fascinated by the past. I refer to real items from the past. Conventional retail would have you think otherwise because they don’t sell old things. But when a child is suspended from the mass advertising, amazing things happen.

If you are a new visitor to this blog, be certain to scroll back up and pull up the Thrift Catalog slide show featuring over 230 items from thrift stores to give you an idea of what could be waiting for you.

Now, I have to find me a few good cupcakes. Being an elf isn't so easy.

Little Pie's three sweet wishes

Pictured above is our little elf, Nimble. He finds a spot in our home 'round the holidays and is the eyes and ears from the North. Nimble is quick, so quick human eyes cannot catch him. He appears when it's time to visit Santa and stays until Baby New Year arrives. Baby New Year is another story. All kinds of magical creatures visit us during the holidays including Mother Nature.

Last Friday evening we went to a little pocket of locally owned businesses on three blocks of South Pearl Street in the Platte Park neighborhood of Denver, a mile due south of us. Each year, these businesses sponsor Winterfest with horse-pulled wagon rides, roasting chestnuts, mulled cider and Santa makes a call. Even though mom and pop stores sponsor this, it’s not heavily commercialized and that’s really nice. It all happens outside and sometimes it can be very, very cold. But, the man lives in the ARCTIC, so 30 degrees is like Miami. That’s where Little Pie has caught up with the old man since she can remember.

Plus, it's fun to visit the stores on South Pearl. They are the mom and pop of Anthropologie. Actually they are a step above for their inspiration is not dictated by some corporate standard and the shop owners are the people we live next to and meet in coffee shops. If not thrift, these are the people who might be best to visit first when purchasing new items. Little Pie is pictured next to one of the Five Green Boxes stores. There is a home, clothing and now cards and decorating store in the Five Green Boxes genre. All are completely inspiring.

Petite Poe used to eagerly come too, but at 12 years old, she opted out for spending the night at friends. Why must we grow up?

As mentioned, our family has a long standing agreement that we offer up no more than three wishes to Santa. Anything more would make us look greedy and greedy children are not good children. This limit also makes the girls think of what they really want instead of just listing whatever comes to mind. This year Piper asked for:

1. A monocular, "like the sea captains of old used". Hmm, the sea captains of old. She is envisioning a brass instrument, something worn. Could Santa possibly save old treasures to give? Interesting concept. Speaking of sailors, our freshly chopped Douglas fir from the Rocky Mountain wilderness continues to drink like a sailor. As a family, we made three wreaths from the extra trimmings and the remaining trunk is in the fireplace as I write.

Last year, he did give her two bells from his ancient sleigh. Pictured above, you see they are old. These are real sleigh bells, not made by Hallmark with the words "Polar Express" inscribed upon on them. What does a card company have to do with making bells for Santa’s sleigh? Wouldn’t he have elves that tend to that? I love the book and the Polar Express movie but the bell is supposed to come from the sleigh, not the train!

2. An Egyptian costume.

3. A big plush tiger that is soft so she can cuddle. Piper is selective on the plush toys she keeps and she truly plays with them.

It’s wonderful to see that my daughter’s imagination travels the high seas, visits ancient Egypt and explores the jungles and mangrove swamps. All these places still need exploring, though we’d prefer to think otherwise, there is still so much to this wonderful planet that remains inconceivable to our current knowledge - of which we have only skimmed the surface.

In the past Piper’s asked for: magnetic rocks, a big bag of jellybeans, a little bag of jellybeans, a plush butterfly, skeleton keys, an hourglass and a thimble. Poet used to ask for similar things. She had one recurring wish, to fly by her own powers. Perhaps that’s why she is a champion swimmer and makes the breaststroke look like a waltz. But, I imagine if she keeps up her smarts and that resolve, she will fly someday.

No, we did not stand in line at Denver’s upscale Cherry Creek Mall for 45 minutes while getting blasted with the next Disney promotion. And no, there was no expensive photography scam attempting to make us feel guilty for not buying a poorly shot $18 photo of Little Pie on Santa's lap. At Winterfest, we take our own photo – no cost!

Parents, you must think like an elf to make things magical for your child. Here are some tips:

1. Elves make toys. They do not twisty tie down dolls or put toys in garish boxes intended to market the toy. Besides, it almost seems like a cruel punishment if you have the child's view that a toy can be a living being to tie it down. An elf-made toy comes ready for play in a simple brown reusable box. Children want to pull that toy out of the box and start playing right away! Any assembly, batteries, whatever needs to be done is done in advance. Your child has been waiting for –in some cases- months for this object. They want to play with it upon opening!

2. There are no discount chain retailers at the North Pole and they do not have access to cheap wrapping paper. Simple wooden boxes are great to hold gifts from the North. Okay, I know there are no trees on the polar ice cap but a wooden box looks more magical than misprinted Scotch-taped candy cane paper. Especially candy cane paper that is making other appearances around the tree – that is one of the most common belief killers! Children notice that and quickly conclude it is no coincidence. Besides, elves would get to the Boreal forest before they'd find a Walmart. Simple wooden boxes make appearances in thrift stores.

3. When elves need to add filler to a box to hold an object, reindeer moss is a good choice. This makes appearances in thrift stores too.

4. Elves use real ribbon – no plastic-icky imitations. Real ribbon can be found in thrift stores.

5. If it’s a big present, the elves will put a pretty bow on it. Presents don’t always need to be completely wrapped to bring magic.

6. A very quick note on nice paper, usually parchment or vellum can be left behind. The Man has class and is older than the mountains, so he’s not going to leave it on a standard sheet of paper or a card that has a company’s name printed on the back.

7. If a stocking is stuffed, it is not stuffed with name brand candy! Elves make candy! Duh! Well maybe the North Pole has a contract with Frango from Marshall Field & Company in Chicago. (If you’ve had Frango you know what I’m talking about.) Remove candy from it’s packing and tie it up with cellophane or put it in little satin bags.

8. The North Pole is its own enterprise. Despite what TV commercials tout, the North Pole neither partners nor endorses any one company. That needs to be very clear to little ones who doubt and are looking for the signs. You may think your child is a believer but, a simple faux pas could sway the pendulum in the beat of a heart.

Do whatever it takes to encourage the magic. The way I look at it, elves are sweet-natured. I figure that if I eat sweets (cupcakes mainly) I too become sweet. So make this the one time of year where you can mack on a few tasty C-cakes to get you in the mood. Gingerbread is a nice choice too. Grumpy elves, they’re no fun and their toys usually don’t measure up to North Pole magic QC.

I ask all other elves reading this to chime into the comments with their activities to educate the masses.

Oh, here’s a funny irony with gift giving. It’s often hard to tell whether my gift is thrift or new because I most always remove items from the original packaging. Let’s face it, it’s ugly! Well Tiffany’s isn’t, but just about everything else is. Packaging is not designed to present something pretty, it’s designed to market the items or make it impossible to be stolen. Besides, why would Santa Baby need an inventory control chip on a gift?

These earrings that I placed on vellum, did they cost 75 cents or $17.50? Do you like them? Does the cost matter? Or does it matter how they look on you?

If you are a new visitor to this blog, be certain to scroll back up and pull up the Thrift Catalog slide show featuring over 200 items from thrift stores to give you an idea of what could be waiting for you.